A week later.... Day 29

Although I faulted only once, I indulged myself into too many drinks in the past week! What can I do!!! I had too many parties to attend to! And I knew from the beginning alcohol was going to be a problem!

I didn't want to write anything after "scale day", cause frankly, I was totally frustrated! I had only lost 1 miserable lb.!!!!!

And I don't think this week is gonna be any different! I was sick with the flu (again!) and also had some lower back pain. So, I had to put a halt to the gym until I feel better from my back... After all, going to work it is more important right now! Specially since the $$$ has gone into a free-fall! Damn it!

At least I get paid in Euros! And right now I need them even to pay the gym!!! LOL

Now, changing subjects... I am starting to get tired of having to cook every day! I wish I could afford a cook! Like when I was living in the States... But here in Spain, things are different! Oh boy, oh boy! Spain is DIFFERENT!!!! A cook, or a maid make more money than me here! This society is completely upside-down! People who work in more dignified professions like, for example, accounting, they don't get paid by the hour as much as a maid makes! And I am sick and tired of having to do all by myself! YES! Go on, you can say it! I am a spoiled rotten child! So what!!! I worked all my life like an ass, so I could have a decent pension when retired... But, since I had to retire before my time, cause of health problems... Well, I receive a decent pension! But not enough, according to Europe's and Euros' standards! To live here, you really owe to be a millionaire!

Well, tomorrow it is scale day... Again! And I am already shaking with terror! That talking scale better tell me some good news, or else! At least, I wanna go under 58 Kg (cause here that's how they weight you) which is approximately 127 lbs.

Still have to loose another 28 lbs! But still have 33 days to do it! But, now that I see it in black and white... doesn't seems a very realistic proposition. I guess I should cut on the booze! But it is sooooooo hard to do!!!!! I love booze!!! I LOVE BOOZE!!!!

Day 22

Yesterday... I faulted!

Believe it or not, I completely forgot to eat lunch! And of course, when I left from work at 10:40 PM, I was starving to death! I also was sooooo tired that didn't want to cook anything, not even go to the little effort of making myself a protein shake! Not that I thought it would satisfy me!!!

On my way home I even saw chicken hamburgers from McDonald's, kebabs, french fries, pastrami sandwiches (not that they have any of those here in Spain!! No Pastrami here!!!!!!) platters filled with fried eggs and bacon, etc... all of it hanging from imaginary threads, floating over my head as I was walking the streets! I was obsessed by it! Tempted beyond believe! Mortified to the point that ,when I was already on my street, and far away from the McDonald's of the world, I saw the Mexican place just across from where I live! I have only been once to that place, and that was last year! I don't really care for Mexican that bad either! Cause Mexican food here, is not as good as it is in the States! Not enough Mexicans living here, I guess! lol

The thing is: I did like the chicken, crossed the street, and got run over by "the truck of self indulgence"!

Chicken Enchiladas is the truck driver's name!

As of last Thursday, I had lost 19 lbs.!!! Now I am afraid of tomorrow... Scale day again!!! And don't think I will do as well, as I did last week! I am afraid it will go up again, instead of going down.

I know the first couple of weeks it's when you loose the most, and then you kinda stall a little... And that is why you have to stick to the plan and not go stray into food alleys! Cause straying is the easiest thing ever! I experienced it last night. And this morning I woke up... well, not feeling too guilty, as a matter of fact! But really disappointed at myself, and what is even worst... swollen! I guess my body did really adjust well to the new food intake, and now is resenting the sodium input from last night!

Today I have a mission: Have a healthy Tofu lunch, and take at least 2 bottles of my special water!!! We'll see how it turns out tomorrow, when I step up on the scale of shame!

10 Days to the date: Day 16!

Ten days to the date... and the struggle continues!

I haven't been posting for these past few days, cause I got really ill. A very acute fatigue attack! Or so the doctors say. Although, by now, I am more inclined to believe it was an accumulation of several things... A new diet: Totally eliminating carbs, which had been, until then, my primary source of nourishment. The gym, a new part time job, and the heat that landed like a thick blanket over my little town!

In short... I have no fucking idea what the hell happened!!! The only thing I know is that I am feeling better now, and that's enough for me!

Things are still going as planned. But I have to confess, to a great effort on my behalf! The bakery shop downstairs keeps calling my name every time I pass by! And today, it was the crepes filled with a thousand different flavors and textures, the ones trying to get my attention! Why do they have to prepare them in the fucking street!!!!! HELLOOOOO! I am trying here!!!!!!!! Really trying!!!!!!

Today it was supposed to be scale day, but didn't have the time to go to the pharmacy for it. So, I will make tomorrow my "scale day" instead.

As far as the new food is concerned, I have to say that I am starting to love Tofu! And the protein shakes have become an essential part of my routine, really keeping the hunger at bay!

But, this week, I decided to add some panache to my soon to be "boring" food intake... Fruit shakes!!!

I discovered a little place, just paces from where I work, where they prepare freshly made cold fruit shakes. No sugar added! Just the fruit, ice, and water... Delicious!!!! Every day they make different fruit combinations, although there are some classic ones available each day! So, and since I am really lazy when it comes to buy, wash, and peel fruits... I feel like one of those great discoverers! I feel like Chris Columbus when he first saw land after months crossing the Atlantic! Or, like Neil Armstrong setting foot on the moon.... A small step for me, a great leap for my diet!

I am adding some more needed vitamins to my new food regime, and cutting on the protein shakes as a mid-afternoon snack! It makes me feel great! Plus, with this heat, it really refreshes these long summer afternoons with a zest!

Day Seven

Not much to report! Life is becoming a routine, something I despise. But, all in all, the program still goes on as planned.

Today I only had the morning routine, a shake for lunch along with a braised tofu steak, and now... I am not hungry at all! I just wanna hit the bed, and make a big hole on it!

I am tired as hell, I keep forgetting things, and dates! Stood up a friend! My eyes are filled with sand, and I can't wait to close them and go to sleep.

I guess tomorrow will be a little more interesting, and will feel more like talking! It really was my bad... I shouldn't have taken my sleeping pill so early! Damn it!

The "before"... and "after"

I should have started this journey backwards! I mean, do what everyone else does in these cases, but showing you the 'before"... and the "after" as the "now". Do you follow me?

Ok, this is me before, with my good friend Edgardo in the pic!

One more time... this is me "before"

And this is me after the 44 lbs.... and many paellas after!

Me, "after" and also "now"!

You will now understand the urge! Although, and as I said before, it is not just an aesthetic matter... it is a health issue!

Days Five and Six!

Where to begin? Let me see... I have been going through internet deprivation, which in my case it's worst than chocolate, or paella deprivation! I have been irritable, and irritating... something like: the bitch is back! Lol

Anyways, day five started just fine... but ended with a bang! I was invited to this very exclusive VIP club in Barcelona, and of course, couldn't say no to it! But first, the friend who invited me prepared dinner for me and another friend of his: Goulash! And two bottles on the side... one of wine, another of Cava! And everybody knows how much I “hate” Cava.... hahahaha

I didn't realize how much I had to drink until it was too late... about 4 hours later, to be exact! When the shoots and my first Cosmo in “real” Spain kicked me in the face! Remember how I told you booze was gonna be a problem??? Well, it was! Cava makes me do the weirdest things ever! Not to mention I can't really say no to it... And the rest didn't help at all!

So, one goulash, and many drinks later I was, “apparently”, giving some kind of spectacle in a very respectable place! lol Got rejected once... no biggie! There are too many fish in the sea to worry just for one peacock! And, I'm not eating that kind of meat anyways...

Lesson number 6: Rejection is a good thing. It makes you realize you still have work to do, and that revenge is sweeter still... Embrace it! But don't let it deter you!

Although, the peacock had a very tender sibling... and that meat was not so bad, after all! I only remember bits and pieces of that night, but a few minutes ago, I recollected telling the peacock's sibling something around the “you are not my type” thingy... But, when I went on with my hunt, I discovered the only ones worth the effort were, in fact, GAY! So type, or no type, the sibling got the pleasure of my company! And needless to say... it is a very pleasurable pleasure! LOL

Lesson number 7: Young tender meat... not bad for your diet! Specially if you're gonna skip gym for a trip to Barcelona!

At five in the morning I was starting to feel the toll of the night in my stomach! I didn't know if I wanted to throw up, or just die! Instead I took a sleeping pill and went to bed.


DAY SIX:

Since I have been having troubles with my internet connection... some not so weird thing here in Spain! I am, now, trying to summarize the past two days in one entry.

I got up around noon, and my stomach was feeling even worst! At this point, it was entirely academic trying to induce vomit... nothing inside! I would have had my usual remedy for such occasions, but my host didn't have the ingredients handy, nor that I cared for coking. But if you must know: Fried eggs, lots of bacon, and French fries! So, I had half of a kebab... Diet breaker? Totally! Nevertheless, I had to get going back to my little town in Costa Brava, and needed to make it somehow... then, the kebab, was totally justified! What wasn't justified at all was the late intake of my usual remedy for hangover... Just a few minutes ago, and around 10 pm. But I am feeling better already! Fatty things always calm down your severely alcohol abused stomach!

Ok, ok, ok! I know, I completely lost my north today. But it was for a very good reason! I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by! I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I did! Now I am back at home, and back from work (which was absolute hell for me today... under present conditions, I mean. LOL) Ready to hit the bed, and ready to embrace my program in the morning, when all what happened in the last day and a half would, hopefully, be forgotten!

Lesson number 8: Never let a minor bump in the road, make you altogether stray into dark and tempting alleys!

Day Four

Yesterday, I finally decided to go to a health food store to find some solutions for my problem with protein substitutes. I found one in town! The lady at the health food was very knowledgeable and really helpful too. She told me everything about Tofu, Seitan, and some protein shakes that really keep my stomach full!

Also, yesterday, wasn't the best day since I started with my loosing weight program! I was hungry as hell! Therefore, after I shopped for different kinds of Tofu, Seitan, and the chocolate flavored shakes... I headed home ready to try a little bit of everything! I was soooo hungry! I first started with the easiest one to prepare... The shake! as I was, with my other hand, cutting the Fine Herbs Tofu in slices and putting it in the grill. When the shake was ready I started sipping it, while, with my now free hand, I was cutting some green squash, and some other veggies and put it them in my bamboo steamer. I seasoned everything with some powdered cilantro, and some dried parsley. Five minutes later, everything was ready to be eaten.

I had never tasted Tofu before in my life. To tell you the truth, I thought it was gonna be awful! But, surprise, surprise! I actually liked the taste of it! Since it also was my first day at work, and thought I was probably gonna be hungry at some point in the afternoon, I prepared another chocolate shake with water, instead of soy milk. I had also bought, at the health food store, something you mix in the water... something that prevents you from holding water in your body, which by the way I found out that if you retain water in your body, it later becomes fat in your body! Who knew!!! Definitely not me! So, besides preparing the water to take with me, I even used it with my shake!

Mid-afternoon... Just as I thought, I was hungry again! Drank my chocolate shake... But was still hungry. Since I can only have a couple of those shakes a day, I tried filling my stomach with the water I brought to work. Didn't work!

By the time I got home, I was famished! This time I prepared a more generous slice of Tofu, and decided to try the Seitan, with some veggies as garnish. Wasn't completely satisfied, but it was late, and didn't want to go to bed on a full stomach anyways.

But this morning... I got up not feeling hungry at all! So, had my morning tea, went to the gym, had a banana, and when I got back at home... made myself a big chocolate shake. Now I was feeling full! So, instead of having lunch at noon (cause I was satisfied, still) I decided to wait a couple more hours. Still, I left everything ready. Cut some Seitan this time, fresh dill... and made something, a recipe the lady from the health food told me how to prepare: A thick sauce made with squash, onions and a little bit of soy milk. Once the veggies were tender (cooked in their own water) added the soy milk, let it heat a little bit more, and then, used a hand-held food processor to turn the whole thing into a thick and very tasty sauce! Lunch was delicious!!!! And for the first time since I started, I felt really, really full!

Made another shake, and prepared another bottle of water to take with me... but I only drank the water! I was so full still that couldn't manage to have my wonderful chocolate shake! I returned home with it, hoping that I could use it for dinner... but as it turns out, the tapeworm I thought lived in my intestines and crawled endlessly inside of me, lol... left me alone tonight! Incredible! I would have never guessed I could satiate myself with proteins alone! But I did!!!! Yeah! I guess it is a building up thing. First day you get used to it, the next day it really starts to work!

And by the way... Remember I told you today was scale day... Well, I weighted 10 lbs less than 4 days ago!!!!!!!! Now I am at 34 lbs, and it has only been 4 days since I started! I am so excited! It is one of those little things that make you want to go on with it, cause you realize the sacrifice is paying off!

So now, it is 34 lbs in 58 days! The countdown is really starting to look promising. My belly looks kinda big, still... But some pants are starting to close, without choking me to death! Lol

I know now that tomorrow is gonna look even brighter for me, and that I can really cope with the whole schedule! It is a relief, really! Thank heaven for Tofu, Seitan, the choco shakes, and the lady with amazing recipes! I will go back to the scale in one week from today... I wanna be pleasantly surprised again. I hope it doesn't disappoint me. That would really be horrible! But I have confidence in what I am doing, health has to come first, always! And I am on the road to a healthy me!